Nier Automata Review

Bill

Figure A, for Ass. Legit.

One might argue that it is really a shoujo style game, but as a true believer of Japanese culture, I will tell you this game is the best example of an ecchi epic. However, it’s bullshit Platinum Games didn’t make Nier Automata playable with one hand–which doesn’t afford me enough options outside of cut scenes to really enjoy myself while my waifu, 2B (I call her “B” for short), unleashes a can of sword slicing machine ass kicking fury.

Director Yoko Toro knew exactly what he was doing with this game. The plot is fine (booty is finer!), but it is outweighed by the thirst for finding the best angles through all the mayhem to just stare at that delicious booty. They say that androids aren’t human, but I know in my heart, that my waifu transcends what it means to be human. Until the day we can be married, I am forced to live my fantasies and express my love and devotion only to my dakimakura.

Which ended up being the most difficult task my life has been presented with. I need to find one that spoke to me, that sung to my soul like a siren’s call. I had to scour the internet to look for the one that was both playful and sexy, as well as dedicated an strong. After hours upon hours of hunting, I found what I needed at www.ihavenolifecauseiloveanimetoomuch.com this tantalizingly satisfactory pillow only cost me ¥22,700 which was such a steal. As I’ve stated before it’s not the same as it would be if I could hold my waifu in my arms, but it helps make the lonely nights all the less arduous.

One day… we’ll be together.

 

Glory to… delicious pale booties.

 

Good

  • Best booty in gaming to date.
  • Ass Worshiping to your hearts content.
  • Tight controls.

Bad

  • Can't taste it.
  • Can't play one handed.
10

Perfect

Bill
I play, review, and always on the hunt for the latest information and upcoming events about my favorite video games, and I'm very angry.

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