PlayStation 5 Preorders to Ship With Free Marijuana Following 2020 Election

A representative from Sony Computer Entertainment America announced today that all PlayStation 5 preorders in North America will ship with a free bag of marijuana. “2020 has been a hard year for everyone, and with the election happening right before our November 12th launch, we felt like it would be a good idea to include a little pick me up to help our players really escape the trauma of th...[Read More]

Hideo Kojima and Guillermo Del Toro Eat Live Baby on Stage for “Death Stranding”

LOS ANGELES, Ca — Hideo Kojima and Guillermo Del Toro appeared on stage Thursday at The Game Awards to promote the new “Death Stranding” trailer, starring Norman Reedus. Catching audience members by surprise, Hideo Kojima brought out a living newborn child and proceeded to devour it live with Del Toro. “It was horrifying and I have no idea what I just witnessed, but I plan ...[Read More]

Street Fighter V Getting Donald Trump and Kim Jong-Un DLC

CAPCOM today released two new downloadable characters as paid DLC for Street Fighter V: US President Donald Trump and North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un. The timely update came amidst the rising tensions between the hermit nation and the global stage, as North Korea continues to pursue and threaten the US and its allies with nuclear war. The update is sure to give players a means to duke it out wit...[Read More]

Destiny 2 Adopts Paid Monthly Subscription

Bungie CEO Pete Parsons today elaborated on their plan to switch Destiny 2 from the traditional free multiplayer set up of the previous title to a monthly subscription model. Possibly related, Parsons was spotted by keen-eyed gamers today at PAX West, surrounded by scantily clad elven cosplay women. GameplayX spoke with Blizzard CEO Michael Morhaime, who stated, “We know you’re going t...[Read More]

Nier Automata Director Yoko Taro Loves “Pale Skinned Girls with Delicious Fat Booties”

Nier Automata game director Yoko Taro confessed in his latest interview that his whole idea for the character 2B was based off his love for cosplay. Speaking exclusively to GameplayX, and translated from Japanese, Taro stated, “I have deep respect for those who have the passion to cosplay. I wanted to give pale skinned girls with delicious fat booties an opportunity to show off what their mo...[Read More]

Bethesda Announces Skyrim Apple Watch Edition

Bethesda announced on Monday that it would be releasing its beloved 2011 hit “The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim” onto Apple Watch. The game’s controls have been adapted to the limited screen size by utilizing gestures and finger taps. When asked for comment about what gamers can expect from the downgraded graphics, Bethesda said as follows: lol whatever you queers are gonna buy it anyw...[Read More]

NBA Live 18 Player Clothes Developed in Sweatshop Conditions

During an investor call in January, EA CEO Andrew Wilson confirmed that EA Sports would not be releasing an NBA Live in early 2017. Wilson indicated that due to the progress that had been made on the game, the decision was made to continue development on it in order to release it as a fully-featured title in the Fall. But why the push back? We sought to find more answers, but only got a small quot...[Read More]

Bloodborne II Announced Exclusively for 3DS

FromSoftware today announced that Bloodborne II was officially in development exclusively for Nintendo 3DS, a stark departure from its roots on the PlayStation 4. The game will not be directed by creator Hidetaka Miyazaki, instead being handled by the team that handled Dark Souls II. When asked for comment, Miyazaki responded that he hates gamers almost as much as he hates himself, and he thought ...[Read More]

Metroid Prime 4 to be Federation Force Sequel, Cel-Shaded Arena Shooter

Nintendo on Friday announced that upcoming Nintendo Switch title Metroid Prime 4 would not follow the roots of its single-player predecessors, instead opting for a sequel to its beloved 3DS title Metroid Prime: Federation Force. The move came as a shock to many gamers expecting a deep, single-player, sci-fi adventure akin to previous titles. A representative said the game would be available by Q4 ...[Read More]

Square-Enix Announces New Final Fantasy XIII Sequel, Cancels XVI

Square-Enix announced Friday that they would be adding a fourth game to the Final Fantasy XIII canon while simultaneously cancelling any plans for a Final Fantasy XVI. After the tumultuous development cycle of Final Fantasy XV (2016) spanning over 10 years, Square-Enix has reportedly given up on making new, original games. Instead, a representative has told GameplayX that they will focus attention...[Read More]

Valve teams up with George R. R. Martin to write Half-Life 3

Gabe Newell, President and CEO of Valve, announced on Monday that George R. R. Martin would be writing the story and script to the highly anticipated sequel Half-Life 3. When asked for a release date, Newell stated that Martin would begin on the script as soon as he was finished with The Winds of Winter, the next book in the Game of Thrones series A Song of Fire and Ice.

Square-Enix admits they have no idea what they’re doing with Final Fantasy

In a press briefing on Monday, Square-Enix admitted that they simply have no idea what they’re doing with Final Fantasy or why people used to love the game. A representative told GameplayX: We’re sitting on probably the single most-valuable IP in video game history and we honestly have no idea what we’re doing with it. People seemed to love Final Fantasy back in the day, but we h...[Read More]

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